The holiday season can be a fantastic time of year for couples, families, and friends.
However, it can also be a stressful time for relationships. With all of the shopping, cooking, and planning that goes into the holidays, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and forget to enjoy each other’s company. In fact, we often talk to clients after the holidays who say, “That was so stressful! I need a holiday after this holiday”.
Here are three holiday relationship tips tips for making the holiday season an enjoyable time.
"Us" time
Tip #1: Set aside some “us” time. Schedule a date night or two during the holiday season to spend quality time together. This can be something as simple as going out for dinner, taking a walk in the park, or cuddling an extra hour in bed before getting up. Make sure you take the time to focus on each other and your relationship, instead of getting caught up in all the holiday hustle and bustle.
Note, it can be just as important to set aside “me” time. Typically, the more stressed out you are, the more you need “me” time. For couples, giving each other “me” time can be a wonderful gift; not just to the person getting “me” time, but to the relationship. For singles, giving yourself “me” time means doing things that are nourishing and rejuvenating, not cramming in more shopping runs or getting that last work project completed.
Share the burdens
Tip #2: Share the load. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with holiday tasks. Ask your partner to help you with holiday shopping, cooking, or decorating. Even better, offer your partner help before s/he even asks. The more tasks you can split up, the less stressed you’ll both feel, and the more time you can spend together.
Plus, in sharing the load, you can build in valuable "us" time even as you do chores. Sonika & I helped each other clean the house last week, while listening to an audio book. And while Sonika does most of the gift shopping and decorating, and I do most of the food shopping and cooking, we always say yes to each other’s requests for help.
Creative gifts
Tip #3: Get creative with gift giving. In addition to buying each other traditional gifts, why not get creative and give each other gifts that you know will be appreciated. How about a “coupon” for three foot massages? Or an offer to take the kids on a Saturday so you partner can sleep in?
In the same spirit, make meaningful connection and experiences more important than stuff. As an example, I coached a couple who went on a really nice weekend getaway with the kids, with lots of fun family activities. When they came home, however, they were wiped out, the opposite of rejuvenated. They said, practically in unison, “All I really needed was a weekend at home to chill out!” Moral of the story: Consider what kind of experience you truly want and need for the holidays. It's not necessarily the one that looks pretty.
If you keep those three simple points in mind, there’s a very good chance you’ll have fun, connected, nourishing holidays for yourself, your relationship, and your family.
Happy Holidays to all!
LoveWorks: We believe relationships are meant to be an empowering, fun, passionate, safe place to grow, love, and learn. Where we get to be more of who we are, not less. We know it’s not always easy, but it can definitely be easier! With our unique and practical approach to relationship, you learn how to resolve conflicts quickly and enjoy fulfilling intimacy for the rest of your life. To learn more or contact us, visit www.loveworkssolution.com.