How to Handle Triggers, Mini-Workshop

It’s a fact of any marriage or relationship: You’re going to get triggered! Your partner is going to do or say stuff that drives you nuts or makes you feel hurt, angry, or sad, i.e. triggered. Any argument you have starts with one or both of you getting triggered. Once that happens, it’s typically downhill from there.

How have you tried to handle your triggers? What do you do to make the irritating or hurtful behavior go away?

Perhaps you have tried to …

• Tell your partner to stop
• Explain how and why it hurts when they talk to you like that
• Control your own reactions and not get so mad
• Carefully analyze what happens when you get triggered
• Get experts to validate why your partner’s behavior is unacceptable

Yet, despite your efforts, it’s likely that you still get triggered and that you still don’t have a good way to deal with, and communicate about, triggers. Does that fit?

We always tell couples, “What you think you’re upset about is not what you’re really upset about”. Since you’re not accurately identifying what triggers you, you end up putting your effort in all the wrong places. You might even get so focused on each other’s irritating behaviors, after a while, it’s all you see.

A foundational part of the LoveWorks Solution is our model for how to handle triggers and use them for a productive purpose. So you can precisely figure out what you’re upset about (it’s not what you think); how to talk about it with each other, and how to change it.

In this 90-minute mini-workshop, you’ll learn our signature triggers process, and you’ll get to practice with your partner on the spot. 

You will learn how to:

• Identify your triggers.
• Realize what you’re really upset about.
• Change what you’re upset about.
• Talk to each other when you’re triggered.
• Use our proven process to deal with triggers (this is a true tool for life).
• Help yourself and each other when you get angry or hurt.